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United Nations Marketing Questionnaire

1.Do you feel that your marketing needs have been adequately met by the promotions staff at Eyeball Records?
/ N

2. Do you feel that you have been subjected to more marketing than you want as a potential fan of the United Nations?
Y/ N

3. Do you feel that your answers to questions one and two will influence your decision to buy United Nations' full length album?
Y/ N

4. Do you feel, on average, subjected to more marketing from contemporary bands than is necessary?
Y/ N

5. Does this influence your life in a negative manner?
Y/ N

6. Do you feel used by "street team" marketing and bands "asking their fans to help them get the message out?"
Y/ N

7. Do you see any message at all in music today?
Y/ N

8. Does it make you sick?
Y/ N

9. Physically sick?
Y/ N

10. Do you ever feel like everything good has already happened in a golden era before your time?
Y/ N

12. Do you feel that as a member of the coveted 18-25 year old demographic you have been successfully "reached" by the groups website: www.unitedfuckingnations.com?
Y/ N

13. Do you feel the the FAQ section is troubling on a number of levels?
Y/ N

13a. Do the racist overtones of the questions bother you?
Y/ N

13b. Do the insensitive responses about the fictional United Nations band trivialize important issues?
Y/ N

13c. Do you see parallels in the international organization, The United Nations?
Y/ N

13d. Do you feel that the racist and elitist attitudes of the governing superpowers have the effect of trivializing all of the works of The United Nations organization?
Y/ N

14. On the whole, is it more troubling that a stupid band can make audacious and inaccurate claims on a website or that a global force can do the same on the world stage?
Y/ N

15. Would you give me a dollar?
Y Give a dollar / N

16. Would you say that the secrecy and misinformation about the United Nations band contribute to your interest in the record?
Y/ N

17. Would you say that the secrecy and misinformation about the United Nations band detracts from your interest in the record?
Y/ N

18. Would you call yourself a critic?

Yes, my opinion holds weight in many circles. I have been compensated for my time and everything that I say has been carefully researched and evaluated.

No, I wouldn't call myself a critic, per se, but in my immediate peer group I'm known to be "in the know." As a matter of fact, I think you'd be hard pressed to find someone with a record collection that's half as good as mine. And seriously, that dude just can't sing. AUTO_TUNE central... I did intern in a studio, once, not really sure how it's possible for him to be both out of key and Auto-Tuned but whatever, worst singer ever.

To find your score, tally all of the yes answers from the above questions. Subtract all of the no answers from that number. Divide the answer by the number of international treaties that the US government has broken in the last eight years. If that answer is equal to or greater than the number of doubts you have about your future, than you're not paying close enough attention.

The above questions are property of the United Nations. Based on the International Model for Consumer Activism's template of Quantitative Measurements.